- annamcmonigal
- Dec 5, 2024
- 4 min read
Updated: Jan 19
You’re looking for a short story to read and are given the two samples below—which story would you choose?
1) “They ended the long day watching a colorful sunset over the ocean from the top of the dunes.”
2) “They ended the long day watching a vast vibrant tropical sunset fill the sky with a warmth that mirrored their contented souls as they rested their weary legs in the soft, silky sand at the top of the dunes, shimmering above the seashore like luminous grains in an hourglass tipped sideways by an unseen force suspending this sacred moment in time.”
Most readers would find the second choice—with its added details, vivid imagery, and sentimental impression—more intriguing because the descriptive language used brings the story to life. Adjectives are one of the most common elements utilized in descriptive language. While the quality of adjectives used adds more substance to a story than the sheer quantity, elaborate depictions do go a long way in terms of keeping readers engaged.
When using a series of adjectives to add depth to a character, setting, or situation, comma drama can arise— Do you really need commas between all those adjectives? Can you just avoid the use of commas altogether without readers taking notice? Unfortunately, basic punctuation and grammar errors can stick out like a sore thumb to experienced readers and distract them from your core message. Because so many writers dread losing creative momentum while worrying about these petty details, proofreaders like myself are here to lighten the load!
For this particular comma drama, the solution comes down to one question: Which kind of adjective series are you working with—coordinate or cumulative? Coordinate adjectives modify the same noun independently of one another, hold equal weight when it comes to the overall meaning of a sentence, and are always separated by commas. For example, this adjective series from the excerpt above is coordinate:
“...as they rested their weary legs in the soft, silky sand…”
In this sentence, soft and silky are adjectives that modify the noun sand separately and hold equal importance to its description. Coordinate adjectives can be verified through two tests. First, replace the comma you are considering using between them with the word and. If this sounds right and doesn’t change the meaning of the sentence, you are, indeed, looking at coordinate adjectives!
“...as they rested their weary legs in the soft, silky sand…”
“...as they rested their weary legs in the soft and silky sand…”
You will notice in this comparison that changing the initial comma to the word and has not changed the meaning of the sentence and still sounds pleasing. Yep—we are working with coordinate adjectives here, so our comma will stay put. Secondly, try switching the order of your adjectives. Once again, if the sentence still sounds right and hasn’t lost its meaning, the adjectives are coordinate. Let’s try this with the same phrase from above:
“...as they rested their weary legs in the silky, soft sand…”
Reversing the order of these adjectives preserves the meaning of the sentence and still sounds acceptable. Once again, the comma remains. Comma drama solved!
If your adjective series does not pass the “and test” and the “interchangeable order test,” it is cumulative rather than coordinate. Cumulative adjectives modify the same noun in different ways and are placed in hierarchical order based on category with no commas needed in between. These adjectives build upon one another to enhance the meaning of the noun, so each adjective in the series modifies the adjectives that follow it in combination with the noun itself. Let’s use the following example from the same excerpt above to examine the difference between cumulative and coordinate adjectives:
“They ended the long day watching a vast vibrant tropical sunset fill the sky…”
Let’s try the “and test” here:
“They ended the long day watching a vast and vibrant and tropical sunset fill the sky…”
Adding and between all the adjectives here sounds awkward and superfluous. Even omitting one and still sounds inaccurate. For example:
“They ended the long day watching a vast and vibrant tropical sunset fill the sky…”
Next up is the interchangeable order test. I think you will find that any rearrangement of these adjectives falls short. For instance:
“They ended the long day watching a tropical vibrant vast sunset fill the sky…”
Anyone familiar with the English language knows that just doesn’t sound right. In fact, there is a so-called royal order for cumulative adjectives to follow that English speakers casually become accustomed to while acquiring the language. This standard order is as follows:
Number/amount
Opinion
Size (e.g, vast)
Age/condition (e.g., vibrant)
Shape
Color
Origin/material (e.g., tropical)
Purpose
Now that you understand the rules for cumulative adjectives, it’s best you also understand the exception to the rule! Occasionally, an adjective that would usually follow the “royal order” becomes inseparable from the noun it modifies when the two words together create their own unique identity. Take the following example:
“Tom wore a yellow hard hat while surveying the construction site.”
In another context, Tom would be wearing a “hard yellow hat,” a description that conforms to the royal order of cumulative adjectives by placing a condition-based adjective (hard) before a color-based adjective (yellow). However, the popular term “hard hat” conveys a separate meaning of its own and, therefore, takes precedence over the customary order.
Need more help clarifying comma confusion? Follow the Comma Drama feed on my blog page for more guidelines!
